Bruce, forgive me for saying this. I know new guys come into the forums all the time. But I have to get this off
I keep seeing posts from teenagers and guys in their early twenties. They have no confidence with
women. That's typical. It's normal. It's okay.
But you have to get the confidence SOME TIME, guys. And
you won't find any magic powders either here or elsewhere that give you the confidence.
You just have to go
make mistakes and learn from them. The more you try, the easier it becomes. I am not saying go get used to
rejection. I am saying, go to talk to girls you have never seen before. Just say "Hi". The ones who want to talk
to you will let you know.
Use the pheromones to help them open up. Use the good colognes to make yourselves
I have seen a lot of crap posted by young, inexperienced guys over the past couple of weeks.
I have been there. I used to dream up these wacky schemes, too. They don't work.
What works is simply walking
up to a girl and saying, "Hi. What's your name?"
I met my ex-wife that way. In fact, I met a lot of
ex-girlfriends, friends, and whatevers that way. I meet a LOT of people that way.
The ones you agonize over,
the ones you want to be perfect for, the ones you fantasize about -- you're never going to do anything with them.
Why? Because you put so much effort into planning the perfect come on you never give yourself a chance to just get
to know her.
Pheromones won't change you. They won't prevent you from making dumb mistakes. They MAY help
mask the smaller mistakes. They MAY give you time to recover from momentary lapses of sanity.
They WILL give
you opportunities to practice meeting, talking with, and getting to know girls. That is what you need to do.
Don't try to impress them. They really couldn't care less about how impressive you want to be.
If you're a
young guy, you are being evaluated by every young girl as a potential boyfriend (and eventually as a potential
husband). Most of the time, you never make the cut and you don't even know it. If a girl has shown interest in
you, she has already put you ahead of dozens of other guys.
Use that knowledge to your advantage. Draw
confidence from the fact that she DID choose to look at you, smile at you, say hello to you, touch you. Girls have
to worry about attracting creeps and dangerous guys. They only do these things for the ones they are wiling to take
the small risk of getting to know a little better.
Learn to ignore the girls who don't send you these signals.
They are NOT interested in you, and there is no system in the world that will change their minds for them.
a girl looks at you, smiles, says "Hi", touches you, she is telling you in her way, "I think you may be interesting.
Please prove to me that my judgement is good."
And how do you do that? By showing her that you are NOT
self-obsessed, that you are NOT afraid to talk with her, and that you DO have some control over yourself, and that
you ARE interested in her enough to want to get to know her.
And now that I have said that, knowing that is what
older guys used to tell me when I was young, I know none of you will listen to the advice or heed it. I didn't. I
had to learn it for myself, the hard way.
But, damn, I wish those old guys hadn't been so right.
Hey, I'm 23 and I KNOW.
I've made the mistakes, been with all the wrong women, etc. It's sad that the most attractive thing about a guy
is confidence and 90% of guys don't have it. If they could make a product that would artificially boost a guy's
self confidence, places like love-scent.com would be out of business...
Oh wait, they do exist...at
http://www.ferarriworld.com/. Good thing merchandise here is a little
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...women can smell apprehension, and the vibes it gives off
are 10x more potent than a vat of mones. Primitively speaking, women look to men to be pillars of strength and
security...so if you're insecure about yourself, how can a woman invest in that?
so you don't believe in the nlp
and those player's guide stuff?
AMEN!!! Preach it brother.I went
out to the grocery store tonight and practicaly threw myself at an attractive woman behind the deli counter...GOT
SHOT DOWN IN FLAMES BIG TIME!!! But I had alot of fun doing it and she actualy laughed and thought I was funny
and cute...even tho she is married (probably to a three hundred pound Marine who goes by the named KILLER.)I
embarassed the hell out of my friend that was with me too.I had no chance at this woman and I knew going in that I
had no chance...but as the motto of the S.A.S says...Who Dares,Wins!
Work on boldly rushing in where angels fear
to tread and you will find that woman have a realy good response to that.You dont have to be a jerk...just work on
your interpersonal skills by being outgoing and friendly and work on not thinking about it but by just doing it! Get
shot down!Who cares? In a sixty years when she is old and grey and cruising up and down the halls of a nursing home
in her wheel chair she will think to herself..."I wonder what happend to that cute guy that was so funny?"
worrying about it and have fun...dont take things so seriously...it called one-itis...If I dont make it with this
one there will never be another chance and I will die a virgin.Relax and enjoy life.I wish I had known that twenty
This was a nice post.Originally Posted by Friendly1
DrSmellThis (creator of P H E R O S)
Agree fully. Scan the
places for girls who are interested in you and then approach.
what friendly1 said, was correct
(nice post by the way). it is very much about your attitude and how confident you appear. i'm 22 and i am gaining
my confidence every day. those who shoot down the player's guides and other stuff, are wrong! there are some
exercises and quides how to handle women. and they are good, if you find the right ones. i have had success with
some of those, better than ever before! so they really work! confidence and attitude are very important things when
it comes down to attracting women.
Friendly1 has given me something
deep to think about for the rest of the week. Thank you, I know that I'm probably one of the people you are talking
about, and I've been trying my best to change the way I think.
Dude, that may well be one of the best posts I've ever readOriginally Posted by Friendly1
on this board.. You've hit the nail on the head so hard there's now an indentation on the hammer.
experience is the best teacher, but she is a harsh mistress. I've only learned recently that simply injecting
myself into a conversation taking place around me with some comment or another will at worst, make someone I'll
never see again think I'm kinda creepy, and at best, become an opportunity to start a relationship of some form or
It is better to be remembered
poorly, then to be forgotten in the sands of time.
Yep! I agree...
Most of the
times... we never really listen to good advice...
then end up learning the hard way...
as it has been im sure
for millions of years... children will never learn from parents but will have experience as their greatest teacher
There are more pictures of kittens in
here than TM's bedroom!
I wrote a little something in
my Memoirs on this...I call it "the post nobody wants to read" because it's the hard truth that people young and
old don't want to hear. Everybody knows it; nobody likes it.
know I have talked myself blue in the face about the value of actor's training in ANY social interaction. Every one
of these how to get women books and courses is essentially a subset of actor's training.
Here are two
suggestions. If you have the motivation, time, and spare funds, take a class in comedy improvisation. Humor taks a
lot of chops to do right, meaning to say that you're not desperately struggling to be funny or pull weak laughs out
with dull tongs, rather that you have the intuition to be spontaneously funny. Humor is about the greatest social
asset one could have. Make people laugh and they'll overlook almost anything else... well, up to a
Second suggestion, highly important for a young man or woman who wants to get places in life, DO
SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR VOICE, DUDE...
The ironic thing is that we have mirrors everywhere and we preen
ourselves constantly, shoot, put a mirror in a cage of chimpanzees and they will be fully absorbed with the
A miniscule minority of civilian people, those not directly working in media or entertainment, listen
to their own voices on a regular basis. We don't have too many "voice mirrors" around us to clue us in on how we
come off to others when we speak.
TOO MANY physically attractive young men and women have MEDIOCRE voices,
some have horrible voices. You need , at minimum, a good recorder and a good microphone so you can replay your
voice, and voice study materials, and then you have to work hard at it so you sound natural. If you have the
opportunity, get a voice coach and take lessons for a couple of months. A good coach will identify your weaknesses
and provide you with lessons to correct them.
A good voice is NOT an artifical "deepened" or macho basso or
try to come off like a heavy dude voice, it DOES have a balance of fundamental and overtones, smooth rhythm,
sinuousness, musicality. Women hear a great voice and they'll go DIHL without a drop of pheromones.
have the chance to observe why some men had repeatedly better results with women. Those with compelling voices could
be somewhat less physically attractive, even a bit dicey in their general comportment, however their voice quality
would break through the deflector shield more than what they were specifically saying.
physically attractive young men and women have MEDIOCRE voices, some have horrible voices.
Like Olympic Gymnist Paul Hamm, I put him in the Mike Tyson category.
Then again he's
probably not looking to score with the chicks anyway.
I noticed that too. He's covered in muscles, but sounds like a jockey. I think a goldLike Olympic Gymnist Paul
Hamm, I put him in the Mike Tyson category.
Then again he's probably not looking to score with the chicks
medal could pick up chicks though....
I got an email last month advertising an improve your voice program by
Arthur Joseph. I don't know much about it, but it says he's coached lots of hollywood celebs, including Sean
Connery and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan.
Here's the link for it.
Omg I worship you...I have
been looking for something like this forever.
Glad I could help. I was afraid
it was kinda tacky post a link I couldn't personally endorse.
I'll let you know how it
works when it gets here
There are some good references
on voice exercises out there which don't cost hundreds of dollars. Try them before you start spending money on
spam-driven programs. For example, in my Body Language
thread in the Open Discussion forum, I mentioned the book I know what you're thinking by
Lillian Glass. This excellent book briefly discusses what a person's voice says about their personality. I think
Reading People by Jo-Ellen Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella also discusses the voice a little bit. One
of the books goes into detail about a young man who falsely lowered his voice. The author worked with him (after
his girlfriend complained about how stupid he sounded) to find his natural "manly" tone.
If you want to check
out some of the expensive programs, first try the ones which let you sample their expertise through online articles,
ezines, archives, and so forth. I would personally be very reluctant to try any product which relied solely on
sales hype to sell its products. A really good voice teacher has nothing to hide.
Here is an example of a site
which offers a voice program for a fee but also offers a free ezine with archives you can browse:
Here is another site which offers free online exercises and such:
some searches for "free voice coaching", "free voice improvement", "free speaking tips", etc.
AskMen offers 7
tips for public speaking:
Here are a couple of articles which provide tips on improving your voice:
There is a lot of information out there (and some bad
opinions, too). It takes time to find good resources, but you should be able to put together some decent guidelines
to help you improve your voice without having to spend a lot of money. Try the free tips first. See what is
involved. Any system worth the money you pay for it will require that you perform exercises and probably change
your lifestyle a little bit.
You could also visit a local Toastmasters group and ask the members for help with
your voice (they may urge you to join the group, which would be good practice). Their Web site offers some free
You're just a veritable
wealth of useful info, Friendly =P
Thanks, I'll check out these links first then.
Home study programs may be good as supplemental training. Voice teachers come in two flavors. There are
the spoken voice teachers, who are closer to speech pathologists, often they specialize in accent elimination.
Remember the great BRITISH actor, Cary Grant, whose real name was Archie Leach and grew up a poor working class
Brit.... yeah, Archie had good voice teachers. He learned how to speak American, moved to California...
there are singing teachers, who should teach you two things, voice production AND ear training... I mean, HOW are
you going to know what to do if you can't distinguish between tones ?
A good teacher must have a good ear.
He or she will find YOUR "center tone" and then play it on a keyboard or piano.
You'll learn to hum your
center tone, not as easy as it seems , to make a good pure hmmmmmmmmmmm tone, then the teacher starts moving around
the keyboard, finding the limit of you natural range, then gradually moves you above it and below it, you slowly
learn HOW to gracefully make micro-pitch changes with your voice.
Now, friends, I will tell you, gratis, one
of the all time most powerful vocal seduction tools... one that those "how to" courses probably don't have a clue
It is hard to do UNLESS you have a good teacher who can gradually teach you how.
is... a sexless voice, the never get laid voice, lacks controlled micro pitch variation, a voice that takes you
places, connects with people on an emotional level, is rich in micro tonal variation. What this means is fine, but
meaningfully controlled larynx modulations that give a voice musicality. When women have that in their voices, guys
melt when they hear it. When women hear it they feel a powerful unconscious tug "YES!!! GIVE ME YOUR
I think this is due to an evolutionary fact that a loose, flexible , strong voice apparatus
somehow indicates superior health and superior genetics whereras a flat dry voice gives of a tattered plumage
For that reason you should be cautious about depending on one size fits all voice courses on the
The seduction system I recently
bought, Non Verbal Sexual Cuing, emphasises how important the voice is. He has several exercises to improve
resonance, tempo and pausing. He also has you speak into a portable recorder so you can hear you own voice and
pay close attention to the *critical* detail in what I wrote above... micro tonal variation. The other factors you
spoke of in the course, resonance, tempo are important. They are like the exterior structure of your voice, you have
to work on them too.
Micro-tonality is the interior structure of your voice. You do have to put the exterior
pieces in place before you can focus in on micro tone.
I appreciate that it is hard to do unless you practice
one of the voice arts, from singing to commercial voice over... a beautiful woman I know was a professional singer
who wanted to restart her career. Told me that she allowed herself TWO YEARS of practice before she was back "in
voice" and ready to perform.
Assuming you want to connect with women instead of becoming a singer you don't
need that much training. You will need some. I would make a concerted effort within your budget, buy a full fledged
home study voice course, a book or two, maybe ten hours of voice coaching if there's a teacher in the
You'll know you have found "it" when other people show increased interest when you talk... I am
convinced that there is an "auditory pheromone" that is fundamentally hypnotic. When most people hear it they enter
into an alpha state. One woman told me that she had a hard time being around me as whenever I spoke she found
herself entering a light hypnotic trance. Now I kid her by using my Mickey Mouse voice when I'm around
Imagine what happens when you mix this with a good phero hit
Hello friendly1,Originally Posted by Friendly1
you could not have said that better!!! A really great
I know at the beginning of dealing with pheromones everybody (even me a year ago) would like to hear "Hey,
put this product on and all girls won't be able to resist you!" , although you know that's nonsense.
bring the hole matter to the point: Pheromones are no magic bullet!
This post should be a duty for every newbie.
Perhaps it may discourage them at the beginning
but what is more important, it puts their expectations to a
reallistic level. Only if you expext too much, you can disappointed!
Last edited by Indigo; 08-31-2004 at 01:51 AM.
There is great truth in those words.Originally Posted by Canucky
That's one of
the best posts I've seen here. The only advice I would add is to just go have fun. Be fun and talk to people, enjoy
yourself and don't take it seriously. Somebody, I don't remember whho, once said that life is too important to be
taken seriously. In the seduction game it's more true than ever.
To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.
hear hear! i know full well
that whatever i'm wearing if i go out moody or lacking confidence it ain't happening.
alas for the younger
male confidence only comes with success, so they need to reach that critical mass.
simply being nice to girls
and getting compliments helps........
wtf am i talking about?
obviously, this is not an interest or an option for everyone. It is part of my
semi-professional life (face it, theater arts are not known for their income producing reliability, enjoyable as
they may be for other reasons, if you score big, more power to you, if you don't, well, don't quit your day
My teacher has been recording my voice with each training session, where we work with microphones as
one would in a soundbooth. After two months of committed work, I literally cannot recognize my own voice. The bass
registers and the overtone structures have opened up to the point where it makes my old "naive" voice sound thin and
wimpy, and frankly,
none too sexual.
This is the functional equivalent of major plastic surgery in the
realm of voice production. The beauty of it is that it is healthy, increasing lung capacity and breath coordination,
lower cost by far, and works so well that it is damned scary.
People just want to hang around me and listen
to me talk regardless of the value of what I am saying. Women seem to relax and go into a light daze. Even macho
black guys check it out... like, where you comin' from, man ?
There is a strange feeling of responsibility
I have, in a way I am radically more self conscious of how my voice affects people, a slight change in inflection
can create a positive feeling and lift another person up, a totally unintentional tonal shift can really wound
someone, I honestly never had this communicative power, and I feel like an uncoordinated teenager having to relearn
how to interact socially. I must now stop myself before I speak and think about how this thing I am about to say
will be interpreted. I know that if I say something even slightly stupid or thoughless, its stupidity will be
As you may be thinking, when you change your "social power" you must take responsibility
for chaning your whole self, you values, your ethics, the meanings behind what you say. Being socially invisible,
being a nonentity, lets you get away with a lot of mediocrity, and the bad habits accumulate.
can say that I never dreamed of this outcome, both how liberating it would turn out to be, or the new demands it
would impose. Such is life.
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