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Thread: Purina Dog Chow

  1. #1
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default Purina Dog Chow

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    The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to
    be able to

    think fast enough to respond like this .....

    Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena

    the
    Wonder dog, at Wal-Mart and was about to check

    out. A woman behind me asked if
    I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired,
    with

    little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that
    I was starting the Purina Diet again.

    Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd
    ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds

    before I
    awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
    orifices and IVs in both arms..



    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
    that it works is to load your pants pockets

    with Purina nuggets and simply eat
    one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally


    complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that
    practically everyone in the line was by

    now enthralled with my story.)
    Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
    food

    poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
    Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

    I

    thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack,
    he was laughing so hard!

    WAL-MART won't let me

    shop there anymore.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

  2. #2
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    Good one!

    I'm the

    same way and love to pull peoples legs! I'll keep a straight face until the end when I'll grin hard and roll my

    eyes.

    Back in the 80's I had 5 ladies believing that I wasn't allowed to sleep in my parents home. I told

    them how every night I had to exit the house via the back door and lock myself out (this was actually true since my

    room was attached to the garage and the garage had no direct access to the home). The ladies didn't buy in; so I

    asked a couple of friends if this wasn't true. With a slight grin they both agreed and the ladies gasped.

    So

    now the fun began as I embellished about my bed of pine needles on a mound of dirt and my favorite rock used as a

    pillow. I told them is wasn't that bad ...except in the winter when gets a bit too cold and how I have to keep

    adding more dirt to the mound because of erosion from heavy rain. You should have seen the look on their faces!!!

    They would have taken me in if they could have. ...How I wish this had been college and not high school!

  3. #3
    Moderator belgareth's Avatar
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    Default

    Not my story, only passing it

    along. I wish I would have come up with it but didn't.
    To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.

    Thomas Jefferson

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