It's one day
I'm crabby and I'm broke.
I'm so full of ham and fruitcake
I think I'm gonna croak.
nice to see the relatives
I wonder when they'll leave.
They've been camping in my bathroom
They're eating everything in sight
and sleeping in my bed.
I been sacked out in the
with my beagle, named Fred.
The relatives have all gone out
and left their screaming brats.
toilet bowl is all clogged up
and I can't find the cat.
It's Christmastime at my house,
the relatives are
They eat me out of house and home,
and drink up my beer.
I love the decorations,
and the sleigh bells
in the snow
But I wish those pesky relatives
would take their kids and go!
Those cookie crunchers fed the
a twenty pound rib roast.
His feet are sticking in the air
like skinny old fence posts.
Now they're in a
the girls against the boys.
They're fighting over boxes
'cause they're bored with their toys
My mother-in-law is snoring
in my favorite TV chair.
Those kids are stringing lights on her
and tinseling her
I oughta wake her up
before the fireworks begin.
But I wanna see those blue sparks fly
when they plug
It's the day after Christmas, and it won't be long
Before I sing my Thank God They've Left ... tis
my favorite song!
Glad to see them come
Glader than they're gone
You can come join me ... as I sing my
Merry Christmas to all
You should check out my mix
-None on top of -None ...
With hopes that they'll
leave ... real real quick!
One day to long
I need WAGG on my chest
Gotta clean up the toilets
And the rest
of this mess!
Merrrrry Christmas Mone Freaks
I'm wishing you well
And I sure hope you don't have to go
Those visits from hell!
G.I. JOE with the KUNFU GRIP!
A little girl is in line to
When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap.
Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring
you for Christmas?"
The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl
for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."
"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe,
she fakes it with Ken!"
ADOLPH, THE BROWN-NOSE REINDEER
Q: Did you hear about Adolph, the brown-nosed
A: He could run as fast as Rudolph, he just couldn't stop as fast.
Never argue with ignorant people! They pull you down to THEIR level, and then they BEAT YOU with experience. Who said that!? I don't know, but tis gold I tell'ya!!
"but I wanna see those blue
when they plug her in."
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