Iím Under Arrest for What? Fifty Bizarre U.S. Laws
By:

Annie Tucker Morgan


Iíve never claimed

to have extensive knowledge of U.S. legislation throughout history, but itís safe to say that I and most people I

associate with are law-abiding citizens Ö or not. As it turns out, every state in this country has at least one

wacky legal stipulation that could land residents in hot water if they donít comply. Donít say I didnít warn

you.




Alabama
Itís illegal to wear a fake

mustache that causes laughter in church.




Alaska
Whispering in someoneís ear while

heís moose hunting is prohibited.




Arizona
Cutting down a cactus may earn

you a twenty-five-year prison term.




Arkansas
Itís illegal to mispronounce the

name of the state of Arkansas.




California
You may not eat an orange in

your bathtub.




Colorado
Itís unlawful to lend your

vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor (Denver).




Connecticut
A pickle cannot actually be a

pickle unless it bounces.




Delaware
Itís illegal to get married on a

dare.


Washington,

D.C.

Itís against the law to post a public notice calling someone a coward for

refusing to accept a challenge to duel.




Florida
If you tie an elephant to a

parking meter, you must pay the same parking fee as you would for a vehicle.




Georgia
Itís illegal to change the

clothes on a storefront mannequin unless you draw the shades first.




Hawaii
All residents may be fined for not

owning a boat.




Idaho
A man must not give his sweetheart

a box of candy weighing fewer than fifty pounds.




Illinois
Itís illegal to take a French

poodle to the opera (Chicago).




Indiana
The value of pi is 4, and not

3.1415.




Iowa
One-armed piano players must perform

for free.

Kansas
Itís illegal to throw

knives at men wearing striped suits (Natoma).







Kentucky
Every citizen is required to

take a shower once a year.




Louisiana
Biting someone with your

natural teeth constitutes simple assault, but biting someone with your false teeth classifies as aggravated

assault.




Maine
If you keep your Christmas

decorations on display after January 14, youíll be fined.




Maryland
Itís against the law to wash or

scrub a sink, no matter how dirty it is (Baltimore).




Massachusetts
No gorilla is allowed in

the backseat of any car.




Michigan
A woman may not cut her own hair

without her husbandís permission.




Minnesota
Itís illegal to paint a sparrow

with the intent of selling it as a parakeet (Harper Woods).




Mississippi
Walking a dog without

dressing it in diapers is forbidden (Temperance).




Missouri
Children may buy shotguns in

Kansas City, but not toy cap guns.




Montana
Itís a felony for a wife to open

her husbandís mail.




Nebraska
Bar owners may not sell beer

unless they brew a kettle of soup simultaneously.




Nevada
Itís illegal for men with

mustaches to kiss women.


New

Hampshire

Itís forbidden to sell the clothes youíre wearing to pay off a

gambling debt.


New

Jersey

Itís against the law for a man to knit during the fishing

season.


New

Mexico

Females may not appear unshaven in

public.


New

York

While riding in an elevator, you must talk to no one, fold your hands, and

look toward the door.


North

Carolina

Itís against the law to sing

off-key.


North

Dakota

Itís illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes

on.




Ohio
You must honk the horn whenever you

pass another car, according to the stateís driverís education manual.




Oklahoma
Itís forbidden to take a bite

out of another personís hamburger.




Oregon
State law requires dishes to be

drip-dried.




Pennsylvania
Itís illegal to sleep on top

of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode

Island

You may not bite off another personís leg.






South Carolina
If a man promises to marry

an unmarried woman, he is required by law to keep his promise.




South Dakota
It is illegal to lie down

and fall asleep in a cheese factory.




Tennessee
Selling hollow logs is strictly

forbidden.




Texas
You may not shoot a buffalo from

the second story of a hotel.




Utah
It is illegal not to drink

milk.




Vermont
Women must obtain written

permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.




Virginia
Tickling a woman is

unlawful.




Washington
Itís illegal to pretend that

oneís parents are wealthy.


West

Virginia

If you make fun of someone who does not accept a challenge, you risk a

six-month prison sentence.




Wisconsin
Unless a customer specifically

requests it, margarine may not be substituted for butter in a restaurant.




Wyoming
Unless you have an official

permit, you may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April.




This Court Is Adjourned
Whew! With all

this legislation, itís a wonder weíre not all sharing a prison cell right now. Granted, something tells me the Los

Angeles Police Department has bigger fish to fry than popping people who dare to eat oranges while bathing, and that

most people who saw me catching some shut-eye on top of a fridge in Pennsylvania wouldnít call the cops on me, but

you never know when you might come across that rare whistle-blower who wants you persecuted to the fullest extent of

the law, so itís probably better to be safe than sorry. The next time I tie up my elephant at a parking meter in

Florida, Iíll be sure to bring a pocket full of quarters.