This is a post dedicated to dealing with attetnion whores.
These are the types of women who get a sense of wellbeing by sucking up all the attention from men without getting anything in return and they are usually bitchy to.
Oh also they have very poor communication (sorry i should say VERBALISATION SKILLS)
I have suggestions below but more would be welcome.
1) Plain out ingore them
2) Verbalise their behaviour direct to them
- Shades of NLP here but it has a massive impact. *This i find is the easiest way to shut them down if you get in a conversation
Steer it towards body language etc and say that they have this thing where they chase attention from men but return nothing - be direct they soon give up and go elsewher
This advice is for those guys out there who feel women only want to play mind games, be bitches or LJBF types. Lets just be friends i like the hunk over there ill ignore you now.
Also the way to stop alpha males like me (i used to have problems until i worked out built up and become a bastard + pheromones.
THAT IS - TAKE THE GOOD LOOKING WOMEN AND TALK TO THEM SO MUCH THAT THEY DONT GET A CHANCE. TALK ABOUT ANYTHING JUST KEEP THEM TALKING WHEN BETTER GUYS THAN YOU ARE AROUND.
That way they are distracted and the alpha males are fucked (i sometimes get this and it is very frustrating - but it is effective at keeping the good looking ones and attention whores at bay - give to them while i keep working out and building up getting richer so i can get even better women ha ha ha [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
Lately (maybe recently) we have had an unusually large number of women active on the board, and I think we would all like to keep it that way. Maybe I am out of line here, so I am calling for feedback from board members both male and female, but I have a feeling that your post is probably going to irritate women in general. My impulse was to just delete the \"w\" word from the subject line, but that doesn\'t go over so well either, so maybe we can get some feedback from others on this issue of forgetting that we have \"ladies present\" these days. Or at least I hope they haven\'t all bailed out already.
DonaldDuck-I think you\'ve been burned before and we appreciate the advice but this topic is inappropriate. I agree with Bruce that some women might be offended. Where finally getting some feedback from them and this will just irritate them. Women play games but we all know that men do the same thing, it\'s a two-way street. [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
\"but it is effective at keeping the good looking ones\"
I\'m very curious as to the definition of \"a good one\". Everybody\'s tastes/desires in the appearance of a partner are different. Good looks are very subjective. Your image of an attractive woman may be drastically different than my own or anyone else\'s. You might not have to expend too much energy keeping \"good looking ones\" since they may not appear the same way to the other males.
\"while i keep working out and building up getting richer so i can get even better women ha ha ha\"
OK...that\'s fair enough. If you\'re a guy who wants ladies who are purely interested in your physique and/or your money you\'re welcome to them. What happens when you get older and/or lose your fortune? Personally I\'d rather a lady accepts me for who I am rather than what I am or have.
Just my thoughts that\'s all [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
ps I\'m not really too keen on the \"w\" word either, unless it specifically refers to an individual who provides sexual services in return for financial gain.
I tend to agree that this is somewhat inappropriate given the subject matter of this forum.
It is called \"pheromone questions\", not \"dating advice\".
On the other hand, if a number of people want to discuss this subject matter, perhaps a new forum could be created.
Concur. It seems to come down to female bashing, which I don\'t care for any more than male bashing. You\'ll be abused exactly as much as you permit.
I agree with xvs- it is a bit off topic. The wording seemed a bit crude as well. Maybe we could start an area with dating advice; that would actually be pretty cool, but lets keep the wording profession. Just my opinion!
well I like DDs direct no bs approach - allows for honest conversation - everyone is getting so pc these days...anyways as regards dealing with these types of ladies, best approach is to move on and ignore them...ain\'t worth my time is my attitude - there are how many women on this planet???
Ok im probably offline here with the w word ok maybe attention seekers it was designed to get some argument going, but went a little to far ok well just then ideas on dealing with people who are just out for attention and ways to get the message across to them (male and female) that they are not getting any attention and that they do get annoying just hanging around being jackasses etc etc.
I think we should have a offtopic/relationship board, what do you say Bruce? [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img]
Le\'ts not cry about it. He wasn\'t stereotyping anyone, but referring to an existing group of people out there. An attention whore refers to men also, so no females should take specific offense to it, unless they have been known to practice that particular behavior...DD, you didn\'t do anything wrong. The world is so concerned with being \"overly\" PC, that everything you say is overanalyzed, and people take things you say too far, even when you meant it a different way.
I think itís ironic that the topic of attention whores should come up in a forum where most of the posts are guys talking about their hits (or lack thereof).
As for DDís use of the w word... I think misogyny is pretty rampant on this board, and itís unfair to single one person out simply because they used an evocative word to express it.
With regards to making this site more female friendly. Why not just set up a seperate woman\'s forum? That way they won\'t have to put up with any of our nonsense and can easily find posts relevant to their interests.
Let\'s see if we can summarize the ways of dealing with attention \"seekers\".
1. Ignore them
2. Call them to the mat on it
Personally, that type of person isn\'t even worth my time to call them on it. It will likely do no good for any potential relationship, as you\'ll hardly be the first to tell them that, and it\'ll only serve to annoy you, in addition to wasting both of yours\' time.
Motion seconded to aaron\'s observation re: getting even better women. If the type of person you\'re after is impressed by posessions or physique, keep \'em. That means fewer of them cluttering the landscape for guys like me. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
You\'re kidding right? No offense to ladies, (me being the sensative guy and all) but an attention whore is an attention whore what\'s the big deal? It\'s like the word \"slut\". Most people automatically think female but I know way too many male sluts for it to be a gender descriptive term.
As for having a female only forum, I hope that never happens. This is the Pheromone Forum and it\'s about discussion of pheromones, not male and female issues. There\'s some overlapping (relationship issues ect) but men and women can talk openly here and it\'s better to share the info because eventually us guys will get involved in their forums and they\'re involved in ours so it wouldn\'t make sense.
Donald is who he is and I doubt that anyone was really offended by what he said. (Atleast I hope no one was), because he knows what men go through with some women and he\'s POed. And it\'s good advice because if it wasn\'t for women like this there would be more \"nice guys\" out there for them. And the same holds true for women. A lot of women are messed up because men screwed them over. Besides had a woman posted this it probably wouldn\'t have even been a discussion. [img]images/icons/crazy.gif[/img]
Oh please let\'s not try to make excuses, we all know that the word Whore is associated more with women than with men. If you read that post he is definitely talking about women although it was not his intention to insult all of them.
[ May 12, 2002: Message edited by: jose ]
I really think this is a non issue. We are all supposed to be big boys and girls here. And if we are not, we don\'t belong at this website.
Damn Skippy. The word is only more commonly associated with women if you make it that way. Use your head and your common sense, and don\'t make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Maybe we can just leave it for now. I wanted to know what everybody thought about the situation as it wasn\'t really a clear cut case in my mind. Everyone is entitled to their 2 cents; no need to fight about it. As moderator of the forum, the question was not whether certain words are in and of themselves politically correct or not. It is whether the way they are used; or the long standing historical conotations they bring with them are likely to be offensive to a group of people who are in a very small minority on this forum, namely women. I don\'t think Jose is going to leave the forum because of DD\'s post, but a week or so ago we had a record high 8-10 women posting regularly on the forum and suddenly we are back to 1-2 again. I am not saying there is a connection, but that is what I was asking for feedback about, not whether the guys are offended by rough language or not.
RE the on/off topic problem: Maybe it would be good to have a separate section for dating problems/advice, but I think such discussions are related to pheros and have enjoyed almost all of them I have seen around here.
Once again, my motive in challenging DD\'s post is just to hold on to the handful of women who we have (or had) posting on the forum. Now, if THEY were in here posting \"right on DD! Bruce, we\'re big girls now. We can take care of ourselves.\" OK, I would need to take a hike. Ladies, what do you say?
OK, OK, I\'ve been lurking on this post to see the interestiing responses, and I guess I don\'t take offense so much because I don\'t think it applies to me. Like someone said, DD isn\'t talking about all women, just some of them. Then again, I\'m not easily offended unless he was talking about me. I can see where some women may get offended on this topic, but I would say I\'m not. I take it with a grain of salt. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
I like controversial discussions myself.
Just for the record, all of us using pheromones are by the very nature of what we are doing, \"attention whores\"
Dunno about that. I think the term \"attention whore\" refers as DD said to those folks who want attention, but have no intention on following through once they\'ve attracted that attention, y\'know the teasers. From what I can tell most of the folk on this board are trying to attract attention so that they can \"get\" with someone however you want to define that. There\'s a big difference: for the aw\'s attracting attention is an end in itself, whereas for most of the folk here attracting attention is just the first stage in the ultimate objective which is to get with someone. Now I will admit I have used pheros to get under the skin of one or two gals who have \"teased\" me in the past, but trust me I\'ve used these pheros mostly to get with someone and with pretty damn good success compared to my pre-phero days [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img] (gotta luv that JB#1 !!! [img]images/icons/laugh.gif[/img])
In the Battle of the Sexes, some bitterness is bound to be generated. A wise man would try to understand why that happened and then figure out how to deal with it in the future.
Well i actualy meant to use the teaser or attention seeking word but threw in the w word instead to get things being discussed.
Point taken it really upset some people and went as far as response a bit far so sorry that folks.
Actually i dont really have that problem myself i was just using creative license and amplifying some previous postings by other forum members which never really went anywhere, just to see what everyone thought.
So from now on teasers will be the word that will have to become common language around here instead. What does everyone think looks like ive been sucked into the black hole known as political correctness. [img]images/icons/crazy.gif[/img]
Letīs be honest, (almost) everybody likes to get attention and to tease. If I was a good looking lady I would probably an `attention whore` too.
But they complain when they dont get it, most women feed off this and if she is a bitchy type the best thing to is ignore it.
Everything in life is give and take. The idea of ying and yang etc etc.
Whitehall what you said is true I\'ll admit. I guess the way I see it now is in a situation like this, if I (or anyone) allows someone to string me along for ages then I\'m as much responsible for allowing this to happen - takes two to tango. The solution is simple - to withdraw oneself from that situation and not allow yourself to be in that position. I don\'t agree with everything said on the ASF forum, but following this commonsense advice works and funny thing about it is half the time she will try and re-establish something with you, the so-called \"returning fox\" syndrome (\"returning fox \" is an ASF term - gal who you\'ve decided to forget about, \"returns\" trying to get back this attention.)and since now she knows she can actually lose you, she knows she has to get with the program or it\'s see ya. Question is I guess, is she worth it to give her another chance and IMHO once a tease always a tease so why bother.
Teasing can be a useful feminine test of a male. Will you persevere? How valuable do you judge her? A female can overplay her hand and piss a guy off doing it though.
Or she can do it just as an exercise of her own sexual power - these are the evil ones and the ones to be avoided or quickly dropped.
My two cents.
I\'ll try not to repeat some of the previous comments which basically say that what DD said is not that big of a deal.
First of all, there is nothing wrong with using language creatively. I can\'t believe that some people here actually seem to think that he was labelling certain women as whores. It should be clear to anyone from the context that DD is pissed off, with reason, with a certain type of person, and he has the right to express his feelings as he sees fit. The word he used should not be taken literally by anyone who has an inkling of what he was trying to express. A milder/nicer word would not have relayed the feelings that he wanted to get out. My sister, who happens to be a very religious and incredibly nice, sensitive person, said something to me recently, which I think is highly relevant here. She said we should never be offended/angered by what anyone says when they are expressing their feelings, no matter how negative it may sound, and no matter whether we approve of their choice of vocabulary or not. \"Everyone is entitled to their feelings and their right to express them, and of course, express them as they seem most fit, since everyone is an individual. Think about it; if some guy gets super frustrated and pissed off and he starts voicing his frustration in a place where most people think his behaviour and words are not appropriate, maybe rather than condemn him, we should empathize with him and realize the degree to which he must have been pissed off, for it to bring him to such actions and use of such language.
I hope the point I was trying to make makes sense to everyone.
Also, I certainly don\'t support woman bashing, but as someone mentioned, we should all be mature adults here. Many times in my life I listen to women telling me things such as, \"men are fucking pigs\"(that\'s a direct quote), and other similar things. It doesn\'t ruffle me in the least. I may get into a calm conversation with her about her feelings, observations, and opinions, but I take the attitude that she must have a reason for her feelings/beliefs, and she has a right to express them. Who has the right to tell her that she cannot do so? And who has the right to tell her that she cannot do so with whatever language she chooses?
If I was a hot chick, I\'d be such a whore.
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