ONLY IN AMERICA!!

[MOBLEYC57]

1. Only in

America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap

parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way

to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in

America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do

we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in

America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won\'t miss a call from

someone we didn\'t want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages

of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word \'politics\' to describe

the process so well: \'Poli\' in Greek meaning \'many\' and \'tics\' meaning \'bloodsucking

creatures\'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER

WONDER???

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can\'t put on mascara with their

mouth closed?

Why don\'t you ever see the headline!...\"Psychic Wins Lottery\"?

Why is \"abbreviated\"

such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do \"practice\"?

Why is it that to stop Windows

98, you have to click on \"Start\"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid

made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day

with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn\'t there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new

and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn\'t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the

needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don\'t

they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don\'t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called

apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of

progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Only in America! What......ever!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Holmes]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img][img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

</font><blockquo

te><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Saw an interview with a guy who was an actual pet food taster/flavorist.

They showed him in a lab sampling various containers of nasty sh!t, saying \"Hmmmm, this one\'s a bit too

tangy...\" He looked like a really tired Mr. Bean.


Holmes

[abductor]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick

walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the

front.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Drugstores sell cigarettes !?!?!?


[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

[Kari]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the

back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">


How about Americans who won\'t park a block away from.... the gym!



Drugstores sell cigarettes !?!?!?
[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

[Elana]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Saw an interview with a guy who was an actual pet

food taster/flavorist. They showed him in a lab sampling various containers of nasty sh!t, saying \"Hmmmm, this

one\'s a bit too tangy...\" He looked like a really tired Mr. Bean.

<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Saw an interview with a guy who was an actual pet food taster/flavorist.

They showed him in a lab sampling various containers of nasty sh!t, saying \"Hmmmm, this one\'s a bit too

tangy...\" He looked like a really tired Mr. Bean.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

<hr

/></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] I remember thinking, Wow,

some people will do anything to support a crack habit.


Holmes

[Pancho1188]

Only in America

can you get married while drunk in a Las Vegas chapel, sleep off your inebriation, and get an annulment 55 hours

later...