Not Enough Dating Tips?

[Pancho1188]

HEADLINE:

What a Girl (and Boy) Wants

BYLINE: edited by Rebecca Gardyn

HIGHLIGHT:
Scoping the singles scene for the

road rules of dating.

BODY:
When it comes to finding the perfect mate, there\'s a widely held belief that men

and women are looking for completely different things. Not so, according to the findings of an exclusive Quick Query

survey conducted for American Demographics by online market research firm Harris Interactive. In fact, when nearly

1,500 single men and women were asked to rate the characteristics they most desire in a partner, their final lists

were a perfect match.

\"Intelligence\" beat out all other traits, as being an extremely or very important

characteristic in a significant other, with 79 percent of total respondents in agreement. Next on everyone\'s list

is \"funny\" (70 percent), \"attractive\" (34 percent), \"athletic\" (12 percent), and \"wealthy\" (6

percent). This hierarchy holds true across not only sex, but every other demographic segment, including age, income,

level of education, race, and ethnicity.

Because what single Americans look for in a future mate is so uncannily

similar, we consulted noted psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers for her expert opinion. Is she surprised at the

findings? \"Not in the slightest,\" she says. While she admits that -- island or no island -- men and women are

both prone to give in to temptations of the flesh, \"it\'s that feeling of mutual intelligence that is most

important for the long term.\" What she does find interesting is the fact that \"wealth\" scores so low among

women. \"Ten years ago -- when it was more important for a woman to have money to bring up children --

\'wealthy\' and \'attractive\' might have switched places,\" says Dr. Brothers. \"Now that women have

status, they can look for attractiveness, just like men.\"

So now that we know what singles are looking for in a

future mate, where do they look for their future date? According to our survey, which allowed for multiple answers,

65 percent of singles say they commonly meet potential dates through friends, co-workers, or family. Other notable

venues for hooking up are: work (36 percent); school (27 percent); online (26 percent); and bars or coffee shops (26

percent). Fewer than 20 percent of all singles meet at church (or another place of worship), in line at the grocery

store, at libraries or bookstores, or at the gym.

Not surprisingly, there is little difference across gender

lines where singles meet -- typically, where a man meets a woman, a woman also meets a man -- yet there are some

remarkable differences across other demographic groups. For instance, a significantly higher rate of blacks than

whites meet other singles in church (28 percent vs. 16 percent), waiting in line (21 percent vs. 12 percent), and at

the gym (13 percent vs. 4 percent). Those making a second go of it (divorced or widowed singles) are significantly

more likely than singles who\'ve never married to meet dates on the Internet (42 percent vs. 22 percent). But this

group tends to shy away from romantic encounters at libraries and bookstores, where only 4 percent of them meet

potential dates, compared with 12 percent of the never-marrieds.

When it comes to prepping and primping for a

date, men and women have slightly different agendas. Dabbing a little eau de toilette behind the ear is more of a

girl thing -- 76 percent do so, compared with 58 percent of men. Women are also significantly more likely than men

to buy new clothes before a date (38 percent vs. 12 percent), put on special undergarments (33 percent vs. 13

percent), and clean their house or apartment (58 percent vs. 52 percent). As for the gents, 69 percent stop off at

the bank or ATM for some extra cash prior to a date. But so do 54 percent of women (you can\'t make any

assumptions these days). Forty-two percent of men wash their car, and 25 percent buy flowers or candy. If after all

that the guy is still left waiting for his date, it could be because she\'s plotting an escape route: 22 percent

of women develop a plan to get out of a bad date, compared with only 11 percent of men.

Important differences

also exist between racial and ethnic groups when it comes to getting ready for a date. For instance, Hispanics and

blacks are considerably more likely than whites to buy new clothes, 35 percent and 43 percent, respectively,

compared with 21 percent of whites. Hispanics are also more likely than whites to buy flowers or candy before a date

(21 percent vs. 14 percent).

When it comes to who should call whom after a good first date, the etiquette jury is

still out: 71 percent of women say they\'ve no qualms about making the first call. But even those who decide to

play coy won\'t have long to wait. The majority of guys (64 percent) say they\'ll call within a day, 29 percent

will call two to three days afterward, and 2 percent will wait a full four days before calling. Still it\'s better

(emotionally) to play it safe than sorry. As Dr. Brothers points out, \"Many men who have no intention of calling

say they will, thinking that\'s being polite. But if the woman really likes the man, that\'s the worst kind of

torture.\"

-- John Fetto

[krtel]

Yes, but what

the report doesen\'t say is that looks are necessary to get your foot in the door, then everything else counts and

looks become less important. Sounds logical, doesen\'t it? If you\'re not attractive, how the heck do you even

get noticed in the first place!

Krish

[Pancho1188]

You wear

pheromones... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Mtnjim]

$1000 bills

hanging out of each pocket! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Holmes]

By being

great at the thing you love, by being passionate, interesting, intelligent, funny...charming.


Holmes

[Pancho1188]

...which

is why Holmes always gets the girls...

I, on the other hand, have it all down except for the whole

\"interesting\" part... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] Oh, well.

Holmes pretty much summed

it up, though...

[Icarus]

What\'s

attractive anyway?

One mans meat is another mans murder. (or summit)

One girl tells me she loves the way I

look, another girl tells me that I do nothing for her.

Simple, yet complex. That\'s what makes life fun.



We cannot reduce anything to do with human attraction to mere \'Science\', no matter what it may be comforting

to believe. (SOMEWHERE: THERE IS A FOOL-PROOF FORMULAE THAT I CAN APPLY ACROSS THE BOARD AND NOT HAVE TO TRY ANY

MORE)

Hmmm.. somebody certainly got up on the wrong side of the bed today. I blame the lariam.

Steve

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
(SOMEWHERE: THERE IS A FOOL-PROOF FORMULAE THAT I

CAN APPLY ACROSS THE BOARD AND NOT HAVE TO TRY ANY MORE)


<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">



Oh... You have to try...I knew I forgot something...damn my forgetfulness!!!

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

Ssssssst...I don\'t believe for one second that you do nothing

for that girl... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Icarus]

Who said

there was only one?

Steve

[krtel]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You wear pheromones...

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Pheromones on

an unattractive person is just about as useless as makeup on a fat chick.

Krish

[krtel]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
What\'s attractive anyway?

One mans meat is

another mans murder. (or summit)

One girl tells me she loves the way I look, another girl tells me that I do

nothing for her.

Simple, yet complex. That\'s what makes life fun.

We cannot reduce anything to do with

human attraction to mere \'Science\', no matter what it may be comforting to believe. (SOMEWHERE: THERE IS A

FOOL-PROOF FORMULAE THAT I CAN APPLY ACROSS THE BOARD AND NOT HAVE TO TRY ANY MORE)

Hmmm.. somebody certainly got

up on the wrong side of the bed today. I blame the lariam.

Steve


<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

I agree that there isn\'t a single \"bullet\" that hits them all, but certainly there is

one that hits a large percentage of them. I don\'t even think the hottest girl would be considered hot to every

guy, but she would certainly have the majority\'s attention.

Krish

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
Pheromones on an unattractive person is just about

as useless as makeup on a fat chick.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

What many fail to

understand.

People might be compelled to look at the person, only to react with Ewwww! What the hell am I

looking at and why?

If you\'re going to draw attention to yourself (via pheromones), make sure that

you\'re worthy of attention.


Holmes

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
You wear pheromones... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Pheromones on an unattractive person is just about as useless as

makeup on a fat chick.

Krish

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Oh, so that\'s my

problem...nuts. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[Icarus]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
I agree that there isn\'t a single \"bullet\"

that hits them all, but certainly there is one that hits a large percentage of them. I don\'t even think

the hottest girl would be considered hot to every guy, but she would certainly have the majority\'s attention.



<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Without causing any offence (as I intend none), I think that

you\'re missing the point of the exercise.

Steve

[Pancho1188]

There\'s gotta be a better way to do this whole thing...in fact, there should be \"hotornot\"-like set-ups in

local areas. [Caution: overstatement of the century for humorous purposes] That would solve all of the world\'s

dating problems...think about it, you click on whether you\'d like to date someone, and if they also click yes,

you have the \"go-ahead\" to ask them out (aka men have the \"don\'t have to be rejected\" bonus and women

have the \"don\'t have to fend off (as many) unwanted advances from people you don\'t like\" bonus). If you

click \"no\", nothing will happen. If they click \"no\", you get no \"go ahead\". This is just as cool

(dumb) as my ring idea (left=married, right=bf/single-but-not-looking, none=hit on me, man!)...

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Yes, I know 1,000 ways to make life easier, simpler, and less

interesting. [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[DZorro]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
There\'s gotta be a better way to do this whole

thing...in fact, there should be \"hotornot\"-like set-ups in local areas. [Caution: overstatement of the century

for humorous purposes] That would solve all of the world\'s dating problems...think about it, you click on whether

you\'d like to date someone, and if they also click yes, you have the \"go-ahead\" to ask them out (aka men have

the \"don\'t have to be rejected\" bonus and women have the \"don\'t have to fend off (as many) unwanted

advances from people you don\'t like\" bonus). If you click \"no\", nothing will happen. If they click

\"no\", you get no \"go ahead\". This is just as cool (dumb) as my ring idea (left=married,

right=bf/single-but-not-looking, none=hit on me, man!)... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Yes, I

know 1,000 ways to make life easier, simpler, and less interesting.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Where\'s the

fun there ?? i would rather meet people in person, and be rejected.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] Besides i had bad experiances meeting people via internet, they

just placed pictures from someone else, and when we finaly met i could just run

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] . From that day on i only meet people in person.


DZorro,

[Pancho1188]

1. Like I

said, \"less interesting\"...
2. I also said \"local areas\" meaning people you know exist but you never really

had a chance to talk to them...like the \"PSUSingles\" thing I keep getting thousands of e-mails for...if you see

someone you know and would like to get to know better, there\'s your chance. Think about how nice that\'d be in

the corporate environment to prevent lawsuits! [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[bundyburger]

A site

like that would be both a blessing and a curse. You\'d have people wandering around seeing people who rejected

them.

...on the other hand there is one girl here I have seen maybe three times ever. We smile at each other and

she has the most friendly look towards me and centres her attention on me. And is SOOOOOO my type &lt;drewel&gt;.

That bitch ain\'t getting away with it next time I\'m telling ya.

[img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] **Bundy goes off into drool...er.. I mean, dream land**

[Holmes]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
A site like that would be both a blessing and a

curse.

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

Yup.

(I am not a number...)


Holmes

[Rakesh]

We have

exactly that sort of site in the czech republic. Pick a town, age range, rate pics, and click \"yes\" or \"no\".

[Pancho1188]

</font><blockquote><font class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
A site like that would be both a blessing and a

curse. You\'d have people wandering around seeing people who rejected them.


<hr /></blockquote><font

class=\"post\">

Well, that\'s the beauty of it...it\'s not like a job interview...they don\'t have to

send you a rejection letter. All you do is get notified if people you clicked \"yes\" to clicked \"yes\" to you

(like hotornot). That person may have a bf/gf, husband/wife, may be homosexual, may not browse the site, or may not

be looking for anyone at the time. So how do you know you were rejected? How does she know you were even

interested? You\'re right where you were before... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

It\'s

cool that they have it in the Czech Republic. I guess you could say they have it here, but the US is so big that

even people they say are in your area could be an hour or two away...not that I\'ve ever been to such a

site...no...I\'ve never done that...Hey, look over there!

*runs away*

</font><blockquote><font

class=\"small\">Quote:</font><hr />
(I am not a number...)

<hr /></blockquote><font class=\"post\">

A

name is just an alphabetized number of your parents\' choosing.

People get mad when given a number, yet most

people were given a name, too... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] Hell, I didn\'t even pick the

name Pancho, it was given to me... [img]/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]